Occident Prone

Welcome to Australia’s wild West

7 reasons to put up a statue to Alan Bond

Posted by occidentprone on June 5, 2008

Bondy’s back.

He has worked his way back into the BRW rich list and it has people talking. But instead of hanging criticisms on the poor hard-working guy, we thought we’d celebrate all that is Alan Bond and share reasons why you should too.

1.  He is a light to show us just what we can achieve if we put our mind to it and that can-do kind of guy is just what we need in WA as all the other can-do kind of guys just shake our faith (think Brian Burke, Neale Fong, Troy Buswell). From his own website

Dedication and sound management are also a big part of Bond’s world vision and the commitment and spirit to partnering with developing nations is highlighted in the way he works and this remains as strong today as it has ever been.

…He has always been very strong on all levels of communication 

2. For ADHD kids and elderly dementia patients the world over, Bondy shows that mental illness is not a life sentence. Bond-chaser Paul Barry says on news.com.au:

Fourteen years ago, Alan Bond was brain damaged and a broken man. The poor guy could barely remember his name, let alone whether he had $50 million in bank accounts in Switzerland.

He sat in the Federal Court in Sydney, staring into space for minutes on end, then turning to his interrogator to claim he had forgotten the question.

Whether Bondy just cut out the food colourings or scoffs the ritalin, he proves the disabled are able. His success says: You might call me crooked, just don’t call me crook.

3. The country is going through a skills crisis, a shortage of labour, so anyone who can get the retired back into the workforce needs our thanks. If Bondy’s rorting of people’s life savings doesn’t get them back in the job queue, nothing will. 

4. Jail, illness and social ostracism characterised the convicts sent to Australia to build it into the great nation you see before you. Bondy is both a reminder of how far we’ve come and how far we can go with a little grit and larrikinism. He is our collective unconscious on display before us. If there’s something wrong with him, there’s something wrong with us so best look the other way if you don’t like it.

5. He has more front than Madonna when it comes to reinvention and rewriting his own history. How’s this pitch to overseas investors: 

Following huge TV successes in Australia, including the acquisition and expansion of Channel Nine …

Yes, there is only one Alan Bond in a lifetime … get in while you can.

6. We get Nigerian scammers from Africa, Africa gets Alan Bond. Again, from his website to lure investors in his African mines: 

Named as Australian of the year (1978), which recognises and rewards those Australians who have a consistent record of excellence and made outstanding achievement in their field, Alan remains a family man with his family always taking an active part in his successes.

7. He’s a giver not a taker. In the Bond family’s own words from www.alanbond.net:

 As Lesotho Diamond Corporation will be providing greatly needed new jobs this particular charity activity will give extra security and structure where the business cannot. It will particularly help children and families with education and health. It is envisaged that each year the charity will make a big impact and a significant difference in the lives of people in Lesotho.


4 Responses to “7 reasons to put up a statue to Alan Bond”

  1. Retarius said

    I just discovered this blog and see you’re covering some of the same topics as me. Yes, Bondy is as unsinkable as cork. Burke, Crichton-Browne and so forth are just minors in the Lazarus League by comparison.

    You’ve now got “1” authority at Technorati – that’s from my blogroll link to you I think. You should put up the Technorati authority widget and wear it with pride! – Retarius.

  2. Rolly said

    Retarius Says:
    June 8, 2008 at 4:31 pm

    “Yes, Bondy is as unsinkable as cork.”

    More reminiscent of things that won’t flush down the toilet and need one to get something to push it round the bend.
    That’s why my twisted mind associated Bondy’s *dementia” with Harpic. You know – clean round the bend.
    But it’s the mug punters who really have incredibly short attention spans: How else do politicians persist, product pushers perservere and religions remain?

  3. occidentprone said

    Yes Rolly we are not all that bright – which is why we need politicians, prosecutors, watchdogs to protect us against predatory scum who get rich from our frailties.

  4. […] list this year and this week showed up to celebrate some old yachting victory. As we’ve said before, he deserves recognition for all he’s contributed to the people of this […]

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